Even little babies long for proximity and emotional reassurance from their mother or father, which is provided through love. At first, I connected with this quote because I felt like it was the story of my life. I thought back to the many times I desperately tried to make a relationship work and failed. I thought I just needed more patience while waiting on God. The small, limited and worldly meaning of Love used to describe a relationship between a man and a woman.
However, real LOVE is so much more than what we see in Disney movies and transcends the human definition. As a believer, we have the honor to know and be in a relationship with the author, creator, and embodiment of love. What God has done for us and how much he values each of our lives, is an act of unconditional love.
Maybe these three reasons played a vital role in your past relationships I know they did in mine and are the reason why God said no. Do you agree with these 3 reasons why God ended your relationship?
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I believe God say no for one good reason. He has a better plan, he has a better choice for us to take in the future. Maybe we rushed too fast in things.
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So when you broke down the why God says no all makes sense to me. I love God with all my heart and soul!!
With out him I would have probably had given up and had lost my life. A lot of our challenges only make sense in hindsight, but I know God will use your experiences for his glory. Be blessed! I easily fell into the trap of idolizing relationships — even friendships.
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God said no to me regarding a group of friends I had to give up, as they were not good influences. Hello, complement of the day. Reading through your write up made tears frop from eyes cause i wondered why God didnt speak to me on time or made me leave on time before i got this broken.
I jad a relationship of 8years with a girl who always love, cherished and always pleaded with me to marry. I spoke to her mum according to the woman she has been trying to talk to her to come to her senses but last monday i told the woman not to cakl her again because is obvious she now has another man. This is a girl i never cheated on. Am in so much pain and will so value your advice and prayer. Thank you for your time. It hurt for the first couple of months.
This was me several years ago! What beautiful wisdom that you have learned. I can identify with what you have shared.
Psalm Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Why did God wait 20 years to do this? He married even before we broke up. Why what was wrong with me? Im ashamed and hate trying to explain to people. Kim, God did not do this to us, HE allowed it for our good somehow. Satan is the god of this world and he is the one who turned their hearts. It also happened to me too after 28 years. Yes I felt ashamed to but shame is on them forever, they will never be free and will ultimately end up in hell forever if they do not repent.
I pray for my ex several times a day and he also has married his adulteress. We who know HIM will have an eternity of no more sorrow or pain HE will dry our eyes, so there still will be pain until the end. Psalm God ended a relationship I thought was going to end in marriage. It led me to a much better, healthier relationship that did end in marriage. From past experience, be it relationships, or not, I have seen God say no, simply because He had better plans in store for me for the greater good. I think when it comes to relationships, we need to first have a firm foundation of love and trust for God, and instead of searching for someone to complete us, or just someone in general, that we live life fully, and see where He takes us.
I so agree Tatyana! I believe that God will always remove things that distract us from Him. I absolutely love this post! I can be stubborn sometimes haha! I jumped right back into the word and loving God and myself. I then met a Godly man after that. Everything was well and so different from my past relationships which were so bad for me. This one was opposite. I also believed He told me this man was my husband. We dated and recently broke up due to him pursuing the purpose that God gave him.
We ended mutually, respectfully, and still terribly in love with one another. Continuously praying for clarity through this rough situation, but your post comforted me. It made me realize I need to learn to continuously seek and love God more and more everyday just like I did before I met my Godly ex. I know God is up to something good in my life! Just go to get through this valley! Thank you again! I totally understand how you must be feeling after your last breakup, but I think that God wanted you to know that there are godly man after his own heart out there.
And I agree, sometimes a break-up pushes us even more into the arms of the heavenly father and makes us understand that his Love is the one we really need and can rely on. You just inspired me to write about it and share my situation. I will definitely let you know once that post is up. I need to put God first in my life, to only worship His name. If we put our relationship with God first the rest of the relationships fall into place.
Hey Cnn, I absolutely agree. If both og you keep God in the center of your lives, everything else will fall into place. At the end you will appreciate having a partner that has overcome his challenges and can trust God no matter what. I feel for you and know exactly what you are going through.
Ask him to fill the void that the person left in your life with his love and thoughts. One scripture that will help you is: Romans Reading this makes me realize the things I did wrong. I idolized my girlfriend way more than god. But I still want her, I started going back to church after the break up, when I asked god to heal me he did it very quickly. But anyways, whenever I ask god if my ex was the one for me I get an overwhelming feeling of yes, just not right now, all over my body.
I think god just wanted me to realize he was more important and that he should come first, and now I do realize that. So is it possible he broke us up as a wake up call for me? And that he may put us back together? So, neither you nor I can tell why the break-up happened. However, I am convinced that God always wants us to put him first, especially in our relationships. Good luck! After the sudden breakup with my girlfriend of near 5 years, God showed me that I idolised the relationship more than Him.
God has changed me a lot since the breakup and I thank Him daily for it. But the waiting is extremely painful; but oh well, in His time. Yh very true…. My question now been whenever I pray about this even after we have ended I keep getting the feeling like a little voice telling me to be patient kind of have faith of a thing and keep praying about the situation?
Well I got to uunderstand that dist was a huge barrier cause we stay in two diff. Justine, do you think God ever says no to say yes later? I have since pushed him to pursue the Lord to work through these things as I told him he is the only real source to our wholeness. However sometimes I strongly feel like we will be together again someday. Hi Justine Thank you so much for this article. My ex broke up with me 6 months ago and I find it so incredibly hard to let him go. He goes to the same church as me different campuses at least so I hardly ever run into him but he keeps wanting to be friends with me.
I went a few weeks without talking to him but then I succumb to temptation and message him again and then it starts the emotional rollercoaster all over again. I say I have forgiven him but why is it so hard for me to get over him? I believe you need to do what is best for you and not be friends with him. God is not perfect, he also makes mistakes I believe. It was a good one, which made me a better person. That relationship made me believe even more in the goodness of God, but after breaking it I have so much less believe in Him. I disagree with you. God is perfect and so is his plan for our lives.
I challenge you to think of all the good things in your life that did happen, rather than the break-up. Also, use Romans to gain understanding. Be blessed. I prayed to god for sign about starting a relationship with my partner I had a dream of a us holding a baby boy so I went for it and started the relationship. However I had a miscarriage and while I was pregnant it felt off. I did pray to go and received a dream about having the miscarriage and a week later I did.
Could go spilt us up for a while for us to come back together? Or is he leading me somewhere else. However, I also believe that you should surrender this to him without planning your life according to an outcome. Move on from your past relationship by seeking God first and finding out what he wants you to do in this season of your life.
I recently cut off ties with someone I am affectionate about. But to be honest, I did cared for him. I stumble upon your article and it did enlightened me. I really appreciate the insights brought up in this article. Thank You! I must say, while reading I found myself taking notes and going down memory lane trying to understand some of the things that went down in a few of the relationships that meant a lot and lasted a while. And I agree, if you invite him in and allow him to guide you, you will never look back and regret again. Be blessed, Justine.
Thank you so much for the article.
I was with my high school sweetheart for 5 years. We are both currently We were so happy until he started calling, texting, and seeing me less. It got so bad that we were only seeing each other once a week when we only lived 10 minutes apart. Some people are skeptical, but like I said, I know. I just think that he had grown tired of me, of us, of the same routine. It has been a year and 3 months since the break up. Wow was I hurt and confused. Living life on auto pilot was all I was doing but something happened in the first 3 months of the breakup.
I got closer to God, felt His peace washing over me, refusing to let me be sad. After he sent the break up text, I never heard from him again despite my pleading. Exactly a year after the break up i was in such a good place that I reached out to him. I texted him to say that over the course of the year I realized that it was best that we break up and I thanked him for letting me go and allowing me to find true happiness and I wished him the same. I wanted to be the bigger person. His response? I felt a certain freedom and have continued to go on living my life for God.
Those days are hard but ive been able to make it through them. Until now, recently I fell very ill. I went to work this morning and my manager sent me home because of how bad I looked. Ive been fine for a while but a few hours ago, I fell into a deep sleep and i had a dream about him. It was just us, in a room, looked like a basement, but we were just hanging out, enjoying each others company like the good old days and we were in love too. It was so vivid and it felt so good to see him again. I know it is too much to hope for but I wanted to share my feelings because, after i woke up crying, I went on an internet search as i have often done in the wake of the break up and its been articles like these that have helped me through a great deal.
Please pray for me, for him, for us. If there is an us to be. This article has been very healing and your words have been encouraging. Thanks again Justine. God bless you. Also, I tried to sign up for the email subscription but i got raked to an error page? Id still like very much to sign up so please let me know???? I think you are doing the right thing by surrendering the relationship to God and not forcing it. Continue to do so in order to build your self-esteem up and create a life that you love.
What people need is a way to turn down the heat. And he talks about two strains of thinking in the Bible: In the Proverbs, it says that if you follow God's law and behave ethically, you will be rewarded with bountiful crops and a happy life. But in Ecclesiastes, it says that the world doesn't work like that. The race does not always go to the swift. Life is unfair. The best we can do is work hard, enjoy a good meal, act ethically and cross our fingers I'm paraphrasing.
Your book made me think of the latter. What do you think? IP: The Bible is full of tensions like that, so why do we have to choose? Like the country song says, "Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. ESQ: I'm an agnostic. Though, as my pastor friend calls it, I'm a "reverent agnostic. Why all the mystery?
Why not just explain what the hell is going on? How about a little transparency? More and more businesses are adopting transparency, why not the universe? If I want mystery, I'll read a David Baldacci novel. IP: For those that want proof, God will always be a mystery. If God could be empirically proven, who would need faith? That said, I rarely think of God in terms of a noun anyway. It makes much more sense to understand God as a verb. To me, that's why so many people commented that God was present in the aftermath of the Boston marathon bombing when so many rushed into the blood and debris to help.
At every turn, God calls us to action in the Bible. ESQ: I like your section on the psychological benefits of prayer. Even I, an agnostic, like to do something that approximates prayers of thanksgiving. Helps me become slightly less self-absorbed. In its proper state, prayer for me is always about getting outside of myself and helping me become God's eyes and hands. When anger, fear, resentments and frustrations disrupt that ability get outside of oneself, I believe the Bible calls us to be painfully truthful in our prayers, holding nothing back until we can get it all out of our system—without fear of being smote.
Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Carefully think about that last statement. Our friendship with God is harmed when we have selfish anger toward others, because we show a lack of trust in God who is committed to our good regardless of our circumstances. In short, our selfish anger toward others rests on our anger toward God for not giving us the lives we want. Anger toward God is always selfish , and selfish anger is always preoccupied with selfish interests. God has no flaws and makes no mistakes… He never does us wrong though in the moment we may not see it that way … so if we find ourselves angry with life or with God, we need to know that He is not the problem — we are.
We are not in a position to tell God that He should have done things differently, nor are we in a position to presume that God cannot bring good out of whatever suffering it is we are called to bear. It can be very difficult to trust God. We may hold deep grudges against Him for allowing the undesirable circumstances of our lives… for many of us it has been one difficult circumstance after another. God can always be trusted, but until we actually learn this lesson in the furnace of affliction, we will have trouble trusting Him.
Such anger can be an opportunity to recognize and to confess our selfish willfulness. We can ask for His grace and yield to its transforming power. Letting go of anger toward others must start with being reconciled to God by receiving His forgiveness and experiencing His friendship.
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We must put first things first, and God must be first — in putting Him first we then find freedom from selfish anger and all else that destroys us, and it is then that we experience abundant living. The material in these last two paragraphs was taken from an article written by the faculty of Loyola University Chicago , a Catholic Jesuit university.
Love Gives. You say love gives. But then You take and You withhold the things I want the most. If you loved, so loved me so, with all Your power Why? If You loved me as You say, You would give to me my way. Life would not be near so hard And I would be fully in charge. Can You give me something else? If we are feeling anger toward God, then who do we think we are fooling by NOT just admitting it and healthily working through it like we would any relationship? So, is it okay for Christians to be angry at God?
The important thing is to be honest with God and tell Him exactly what you are feeling. Every human emotion has an important function for us. We can decide not to face an emotion, but we cannot stop an emotion from surfacing. Feeling angry with God, then, is not bad in itself — once we admit we feel angry toward God, we become free to see the many ways in which we can express that anger. A person who feels angry with God has several options available to him — he can turn his back on God, curse the next person who tells him not to be angry with God, or express that anger honestly in prayer and come to terms with it and God.
Because some ways of expressing anger are admittedly very destructive, we need to choose ways which reflect our deepest Christian values. What kind of God is so fragile that we cannot admit our honest feelings of disappointmentor anger to Him? Those who are in the habit of denying their emotions may settle for a faith that refuses to face life with any real depth or honesty. In the late s, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, in her popular book titled On Death and Dying , showed that often dying persons have fewer problems in admitting their condition than friends or relatives who cling to denial in order to protect their own feelings.
A lack of transparent honesty and openness is to live with a sense of denial, and never come to terms with the spiritual realities that inhabit our sinful flesh. Let your honesty lead to growth in faith. Express your feelings honestly when you pray. If we can face an emotion like anger with God, see our own freedom in responding to that emotion, pray honestly if not elegantly, then we might be able to help another suffering person put his or her life back together again.
Recognize when it is time to move beyond anger. We become angry when we suffer significant loss. Though dealing with anger will not necessarily erase the sorrow, it will enable us to live honestly, and to help others who have experienced great loss as well.
Our goal in life must be to possess an honest, realistic, mature faith in God — however much that may resemble or differ from the faith in God we had as children. Adults who are ready to grow in their faith can face their anger, recognize their God-given freedom in the face of it, and encourage others to do the same. Is there a Correlation between Hatred and Anger?
The opposite of hating something is liking something. Both the Old and New Testaments deal with hatred — David thanked God for destroying those who hated him Ps ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; cf. Ex ; 2 Sam In psychoanalysis, Sigmud Freud defined hate as an ego state that wishes to destroy the source of its unhappiness Freud, The Instincts and their Vicissitudes. Hatred is simply the flesh demanding its own way… and we all inhabit sinful flesh. Importance of Maintaining a Balanced Perspective. The experiences I listed above are simply the routine ones we are all subjected to every day.
Ultimately, when life becomes too painful, we then let God know about it, and ask Him to let up… and should He continue to let the storms rage, the vast majority of us then become angry and disappointed. Just over one hundred years ago, prolific gospel song writer Johnson Oatman, Jr.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear? Count your many blessings every doubt will fly, And you will be singing as the days go by. When you look at others with their lands and gold, Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold; Count your many blessings money cannot buy, Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
Life is not fair — it never has been, and it never will be. Some people are born with powerful advantages; others are born with crippling disadvantages. Life is not fair. In a perfect world, one would think, the righteous should prosper and evil doers should suffer hardships, but that does not describe our world. The truth of the matter is, it is not fair. Bill Gates, in a speech he gave at a High School a few years ago, spoke about eleven things they did not and will not learn in school. He talked about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept sets them up for failure in the real world.
The fastest runner does not always win the race; the strongest soldier does not always win the battle; wise people do not always get the food; smart people do not always get the wealth; educated people do not always get the praise they deserve. Job ; ; 1 Pet 4; Life is filled with hardships and disappointments, blessings and joy.
The truth of the matter is, if we fail to realize that this world is not our home, the hard times will be an even greater struggle. Jesus made it clear that good times and hard times happen in every life Mt The difficulty comes when we forget that this world is passing away and that our reward lies on the other side of life. It is critically important for us to learn the truth that God is completely counter-culture to our human nature. Is that fair?
Is this how God treats His most faithful followers? Joseph was chosen by God while still a child living at home. Before he was grown, his eleven jealous brothers sold him into slavery. A fellow inmate told Joseph that when he got out, he would plead for his release… but he forgot his pledge. Daniel was raised in a God-fearing family of nobility… his future look promising until the Babylonians besieged Jerusalem. These idol-worshiping warriors kidnapped Daniel and other young men of his caliber. He was ripped from his family, home, school, country, and everything that was familiar to him.
He was forced to learn a new language, live in a pagan culture, and eat food too rich for a Jewish diet. Where is a loving God in all of this? Rebecca Barlow Jordan cites the words of Dr.
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